blame my gun

(O huwag mo kalabitin ang aking gatilyo)

"The lesson today is how to die..."
Which Strange Little Girl would you be?
You have a strong sense of justice, and believe that ultimately people should pay for their crimes.

Sinisipag ako

I have uploaded pictures of anguished relatives of Overseas Filipino Workers trapped in Lebanon, as well as pictures of a requiem procession held in the University of the Philippines Diliman to commemorate the 705 victims of extrajudicial killings and 181 victims of forced disappearances under the Arroyo regime.

Kalunos-lunos. Nakakagalit. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit sinisipag ako nowadays. Hehe...

posted by: ilangq at 09:01 | link | comments |
political chuvachuva

Why I thank Zinedine Zidane

Last night, I dreamed of Zinedine Zidane (it was the latest in a string of long weird dreams that I had these past few days of typhoon weather). I dreamed that I saw and hugged and actually thanked the football genius who had a controversial career exit this World Cup. 

I've only just very recently followed football as a sport and thus have no emotional investment for or against any team or player in particular. I was just really fascinated with the beauty of the game and amazed with the pitch fever that it generated among the public (at least elsewhere but here). That was until I watched the finals between Italy and France and saw the legendary Zidane suddenly head-butt Marco Materazzi, getting himself red-carded and thrown off the game that France eventually lost to Italy in penalties. Everyone blamed the loss on Zidane, whom his legions of fans counted on to bag the trophy. Everyone shamed him for losing his cool during what on TV looked like a fairly innocuous exchange of words with the Italian defender. It turned out, however, that what provoked Zidane were nothing less than grave slurs at his mother and sister. Though Zidane refused to elaborate further, it is speculated that the insults referred to his Algerian descent-- for Zidane hails from a poor immigrant family. Some say that he was called a "dirty terrorist." So even though condemnation for Zidane generally still runs high, many now believe that the blame falls on Materazzi's shoulder equally or even more (Some even go as far as to say that Italy should give back the World Cup).

Since I'm not really a football fan (I can't believe I'm even writing a blog entry about sports), I don't particularly care about the whos, and whys and ifs of winning or losing the World Cup (though I've followed the debates with much interest). But I am attracted no end to the whole Zidane incident. For me, it symbolizes how life's struggles are won and lost, both tactically and strategically. You see, I know myself as highly hot-tempered person. It is something that I highly regret, something that has cost me many intellectual battles with my boyfriend, for example. I find it hard to tolerate outright falsehoods and wayward concepts. Thus it's difficult for me to formulate coherent, brilliant arguments during a verbal spar that has already had me in a grip of rage. And when it comes to politics (for that is irrevocably the very center of my life now) and defending the set of political ideals that I wholeheartedly believe would set this nation--and the world--free and which I would eventually die for, easily enraged I do become. I don't know. Maybe it's because the only way I've effectively learned how to communicate is by writing, where your first audience is a blinking cursor on an empty computer screen and there is time and space to think over and polish your piece before it is subject to any scrutiny. Control--in the form of editing-- is something that comes after you have typed a bunch of words that gush straight from your heart. But I cannot always fight as I write. Sometimes you are put into infuriating circumstances...that...force...you...to...head-butt...just...to...drive...home...the...point.

For sure, nothing is gained tactically by losing your temper (much less showing how you do it to the world). In fact, like Zidane, it might even cause you to lose a lot, if not everything. But then again, some things are just worth standing up for. Some things are just too rotten and have to be exposed, in no matter how vulgar a manner. It is still the true measure of greatness to be able to maintain calm and go right on to finish a suberb job that in the end would leave your enemies breathless. That is still the only and best way to win. But when your enemies become too unfair, too cruel, maybe it is not too bad to holler. For if you did not, how would anyone know that you suffer (perhaps like others suffer)? If victory is still too far away, how could your enemies taste the pain that they deserve? And what if you found that there are more important fights to win than that which you are in?

The Zidane incident taught me the lesson that I have yet to learn-- that in this world, keeping your cool and staying focused is the key to achieving those goals. But that's a lesson anyone can teach. If there's something to really thank only Zinedine Zidane for, it's for showing that greatness is not always about winning the fight that you are expected to. Sometimes, it's about winning the strategic fight that really matters to you.

posted by: ilangq at 20:42 | link | comments (3) |
samut sari

Unpacked

Yes! I have unpacked! Or, I have finished downloading and editing some pictures from my recent travels. They can be found at my photoblog: http://cameracurse.blogspot.com. Along with the pictures are some brochure-sounding background details, fond recollections, and personal observations from my trip that I chose not to belabor in a separate blog entry here (for all those touristic fantasy world stuff belong together). So that's all done. Now I can move on to real life. Hehe.

posted by: ilangq at 16:37 | link | comments |
samut sari

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